Shop
Table Accessories
A brain surgeon receives a phone call from a colleague
on a Saturday night. "We need another poker player for
tonight" the friend says. "I'll be there right away!"
the doctor replies with a sense of urgency. As he puts
on his coat and makes his way out the door his wife asks
him "Is it serious?" and the doctor replies "Oh, very!
There are 3 other doctors already there!"
A homeless man asks another man for two dollars. The man
says "Will you use the money to buy booze?" The homeless
man replies "No sir, I don't drink." The man then asks
"Will you use the money to gamble?" The homeless man
replies "No sir, I don't gamble." So the man says "Do me
a favor and come home with me. I want my wife to see
what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble."
A man calls his wife at work and tells her "honey... I
have some bad news. We just won the 3 million dollar
state lottery." and the wife replies "Bad news? How is
that bad news! We can finally live out our dreams!" to
which the man responds "The payout is 3 dollars a year
for a million years."
A man joins gambler's anonymous. He's given three-to-one
odds he won't make it.
A man sits down at a poker game and consistently calls
another man's bluff. The other man asks "how could you
tell I was lying?" and the man replies "because your
chips were moving."
A man walks into a poker room and notices two men and a
dog playing poker. The dog was playing exceptionally
well and the man comments "Wow, that's one smart dog!".
"Not too smart." one of the men at the table replies.
"Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail."
A weekly Friday night poker game was going strong well
into the midnight hour when one of the players from the
game returned from a bathroom break with a shocked look
to him. "David!" he said with urgency, "Come quick! Your
wife is in the bathroom making love to your brother!".
"Ok guys" David replied, "this is absolutely the last
hand!"
A woman walks into living room and sees her brother
playing poker with their dog. "Wow!" she exclaimed, "You
must have the smartest dog in the world!" and her
brother replies "He's not all that smart. I've beaten
him 3 out of 5 games so far."
How can you get a "professional" poker player to get off
your front doorstep? Pay him for the pizza.
How can you get a sweet and gentle old lady to say the
word "fu@k"? Get another sweet and gentle old lady to
yell BINGO!
How is a women like a casino? Liquor in the front, poker
in the back!
Some people have luck that goes from good to bad in an
instant. Take this one friend of mine for example. He
almost always draws whatever card he needs to win a hand
of poker, but almost always loses big at the horse
races! I asked him about this and he once replied "Well,
they don't let me shuffle the horses."
There are three testaments of poker everyone should
know:
1.Don't ask a dealer what the odds are on strip poker
2.When playing Caribbean poker, don't play with a fake
Jamaican accent
3.Never butt into a private poker game and ask "mind if
I join in?"
Two dog owners were bragging about their pets. The first
man says "My dog was one of the brighest I've ever had.
He was a hound dog and a real whiz at poker, but I had
to put him down." The second man asked "Why would you
put down a poker playing dog?" and the first man replied
"Because he kept marking his cards!"
Upon entering a poker hall, a stranger notices a sign
posted on a wooden door that reads: DANGER! BEWARE OF
DOG! The man opens the door slowly and, inside, notices
a harmless old dog sleeping on the floor. He turns to
the poker room manager and asks "Is THAT the dog people
are supposed to beware of?". The manager replies "Sure
is!" The stranger, amused, says "That dog certainly
doesn't look like it could do much damage. Why would you
put such a sign on your door?" "Because," the manager
replied, "before I posted that sign everyone kept
tripping over him."
What's the difference between a man praying at a poker
table and another man praying in a church? The one at
the poker table means it.
Why did the elephant not like playing poker in the
jungle? Because there were to many cheetahs.
|
Table Accessories
|
Search
About
Shop club poker league store for poker books, poker clothing, poker gear, card protectors, playing cards, poker chips, poker sets, game sets, cut cards, poker tables, craps tables, roulette tables, and blackjack tables.
|